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  • Sudha

The website's beginnings

Every single day since Paul died, I receive texts, Whatsapp messages and calls asking how I am doing, how the boys are coping. I have been mostly honest about how I'm coping and how proud I am of our boys. Sometimes I catch myself cutting and pasting texts and sending them to friends - not because I am lazy, but, because there is nothing else to say. In some messages, I would say something to lighten up the mood and in some I would lie (because I don't want to show how vulnerable I am).

Since Paul's funeral service, I was amazed and humbled by the number of people who told me that they only knew one facet of Paul's rich life.

I want everyone to know what an incredibly active, loving, caring husband and dad he was; what a passionate environmentalist he was; what a clever and natural birder he was. His moral compass was like no other.

Where better to start but with a website where I can publish all the eulogies from his funeral service.

I also found myself chatting to Paul constantly - as though he was in another room - reminiscing about a holiday, telling him off because something one of the boys did reminded me of him (probably how not to load the dishwasher) or moaning about the house being a bottomless money pit.

So, I thought I'd use the website to record my thoughts, my conversations, my memories and most importantly, my daily struggles getting through life without Paul.

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Nov 15, 2020

I had teething problems with the website and somehow managed to lose the following comment from my friend 'Sausage Roll' (don't ask!) dated Monday 9th November:

Sudha!!! Every time you inspire me, every time! You are creating something that will honour your beautiful Paul and give you, family, friends, others and even more others an outlet to chat, grieve, start to heal (I know, little by little on the heal front) xxxx So you are my third happy thing in the last 48 hours, started with Joe, than news of a vaccine and now this, learning to live again, perfect, just like y'all ❤

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