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  • Sudha

The first anniversary

These photos were taken on 4th December 2016. Not even in my worst nightmare, I saw how my life would change in less than 3 years. Paul surprised me with a trip to Rome in December 2016 to celebrate beating cancer the first time. We were like a couple of teens - a rare break without the boys and we made the most of the 4 days. We walked everywhere with not a care in the world. We talked about bringing the boys back as they would love the city. It seems a lifetime ago.

My dear friend Clare bought me a hyacinth for our bedroom. Paul always planted hyacinth bulbs in pots for our bedroom in winter and they smelled gorgeous in the bedroom when they bloomed in spring. Clare has seen us up close as a couple, as best friends, as parents, as 2 people in love. And I cried. I cried for Paul. I cried for the loss and pain my boys must be feeling; I cried for having a thoughtful friend.

I have managed to get through today thanks to the love and support of friends and family near and far. Scummeroo visited me in the morning to make sure I was out of bed and not moping around. I had to kick her out of the house at midday, as I had a lunch date with Clare who treated to me a lovely relaxed lunch at the Red Lion

The day ended beautifully with a few of us gathered outside the village chapel with mulled wine and mince pies. We lit the Christmas tree lights and we raised a glass to Paul. To quote a friend, "Paul was certainly a light in our lives".

What a year it has been. A year full of 'firsts' and yet, I feel there are many many more 'firsts' to come.

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