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  • Sudha

Dinner with another man

I had dinner with a lovely man today. First time since Paul went that I’ve been out with another gentleman.

It was a very pleasant evening at Prime in Chandlers Cross. We both had steak and a lovely glass of Malbec. The wine was my choice and I could tell he would have rather had a beer but was polite and accepted my choice.

I’ve been to the St Albans branch of Prime a few times with friends, but I’ve always wanted to go to this particular branch with Paul as it is on our way to and from the office where we used to work together. Paul being a vegetarian I couldn’t bring myself to going there with him and enjoying a great big piece of meat while he nibbled at his vegan or halloumi burger.

I felt this pang of guilt as I got into the car to drive to the restaurant as it is the first time in nearly 2 years I’m doing this journey - the journey Paul and I made together to and fro every single weekday for almost 2 years we worked together in my last job. Every mundane turn on the road or a sharp bend or a dip reminded me of some equally mundane but memorable conversation we would have had; I remembered where we would usually hit stationary traffic; I remembered the first time we drove the electric car down a deep waterlogged dip in the road wondering what would happen to the engine! I noticed that one particular road had been resurfaced and was a much better ride than I remember and for a fraction of a second my mind was making a mental note to tell Paul about that later.

As I turned into the carpark, I decided to give my companion my full attention and set Paul to one side for a couple of hours.

It was a truly memorable evening. We have a lot in common. We both love our food, we both have similar taste in music (although he thinks Brian May’s guitar skills are not as good as Slash’s – WTF?!!), we certainly love a drink or 3 and we both have strong work ethics.

I found out that he is keen to form or join a band and play guitar and drums. He works out 5-6 days a week and generally seems to have a sensible head on his shoulders.

I was so pleased that I took time out of my navel gazing, self-pitying miserable life to spend this evening with an ambitious, strong-minded and polite young man. I can see many more days like this in the future and it fills me with a new outlook towards life – that I am not just a mum to 2 little boys anymore. I am a mum to 2 young adults in the making. One of them away on a Scout camp and the other sat in front of me at the table enjoying his Sirloin steak and a civilised glass of Malbec.

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